Imagine you’re up for a really great opportunity. Everything is going well on the outside, you even seem to be having more “good hair days.” But on the inside you feel like something is off, like you’re living someone else’s life that you don’t actually deserve. There’s a strange but all too familiar nagging voice that feels like a weight that makes your energy drag. It basically sucks all the joy and excitement out of this great moment.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing some degree of imposter syndrome.
By Natalie Pfund, Akashic Healer and Life Coach.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a self inflicted belief that you don’t belong in the height of ranks that you’ve made it to. Whether you’re already in a position, applying for a position, asking for a raise, or meeting a really great person or a first date, you may have an inner critic telling you that your house of cards isn’t going to hold strong for much longer.
Every person on this planet battles imposter syndrome form time to time. It’s an incredibly human thing to have that “ego” voice talking you down from confidence and freedom in your heart of hearts. The thing to understand is that it’s just a shadow. That voice that pulls you down from your regular high vibes is simply showing you another perspective of what it is to be a human.
Here are the actionable steps to take to overcome imposter syndrome.
Understanding the “why”.
Let’s look at vulnerability for a second. If you have an opportunity to up level your life in some way, and you allow your heart to get excited and hopeful. You may find yourself smiling and daydreaming into what the next chapter of life holds. This means that you now have something to lose. Every single wonderful blessing in life comes with an inner knowing that it can be taken away. We humans are both powerful in our ability to manifest the life we want, as well as powerless in some of the ways that the Universe has already mapped some details out. (Umm, looking at you 2020).
It can feel like a roller coaster ride when you’re in the middle of an up level because of all of this. There are a lot of emotions at play, and I want to tell you – that’s a great thing. You’re alive and having feelings! You’re having a human experience!
We are very much like a two sided coin sometimes. We are dualistic in our nature. The reason is that our higher self (or soul) knows exactly who she is (who you are), while the ego self (the tangible person you see in the mirror) is subject to the conditioning and influence of culture.
Celebrate your wins.
Another perspective to consider is that all of our big moments play out in the same human way that the small moments do. You might stay up all night finishing a project that you’ve spent months preparing for. And when you pass it off to your professor or boss, there’s no mariachi band, blue ribbon, confetti, or golden elevator to the next floor. If you want to celebrate, you have to choose to create a celebration. You might take yourself out or call on friends and ask them to see you, hear you, and value your accomplishment. This choice to slow down and purposefully create a moment for yourself is more important than you may realize.
Life goes by faster and faster with every year. If we let our accomplishments slide by without much hoorah, then life itself slides by without magic.
The human inexperience is such that if you want to feel your wins, you have to choose to open your heart to them. You have to choose the vulnerability, because being at any next level is just as much of a risk as every level in your life. You are both fragile and strong, and you are capable of blowing your audience away, as well as totally bombing. It’s all beautiful, it’s all learnable, and it’s all part of being alive.
Be honest with yourself.
At the end of the day what matters is how you choose to show up for yourself. Are you taking one small step at a time to align yourself with the woman you want to be in 1, 2, 5, or 10 years? It all comes down to your integrity to accept exactly where you are in life, learn, grow, and take the small steps forward. It also helps to know that some days and weeks will feel like falling backwards. It’s all part of the big picture.
When looking at imposter syndrome it helps to get really honest with yourself. You can ask yourself the following questions:
Would you hire you?
Give yourself a raise?
Take a chance on you?
If you have a resounding yes to all these questions, then your imposter syndrome is simply a voice that you can practice hearing out and countering with truth (affirmations). We all have that voice show up sometimes. You have to build a healthy relationship between that voice and the truth about who you are and what you’re capable of. This is just a matter of practicing taming the mind.
If you’re not so sure you would give yourself these upgrades just yet, then you have a little more deep inner work to do.
What’s this inner work? These are the practices that can shift your internal reality and way of existing in the world. This is where true confidence and clarity come from.
The goal with these practices is to incorporate the following into your daily/weekly routines. Not all at once though. Take small conscious steps, and build your way forward from there. The practices are:
- Meditations: Try a few styles and see what feels good to you.
- Movement you enjoy: Learn to truly enjoy and celebrate being in your body.
- Affirmations: Say kind things to yourself.
- Truth journaling: Get in touch with how you really feel about things.
- Art/Expression: What do you love to create?
- Joy practice: What do you absolutely love to do? Make time to rejuvenate yourself with people and activity that cultivate true joy.
- Create boundaries that give you time, space, and energy to be your true self.
- Drink at least 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water.
- Eat food that makes you feel light, clear headed, and energized.
Lastly, connect with your sense of passion, purpose, and inspiration. When you approach life from a space of inspiration, you’ll have fewer valid doubts about your ability to succeed. You’ll have a knowing in your heart that you will succeed because you have to do the thing.
Imposter syndrome shows us our inner truths.
Imposter syndrome is nothing more than a reminder to ask yourself about your own inner truths and desires. When you want something from the deepest part of your heart, you’ll do your absolute best. If you only kind of want something – think of the imposter syndrome as an invitation to dive deeper into you truths.
Your truth will set you free.
Ultimately this comes down to aligned living. Are you living in alignment with you soul’s wisdom and intuition. If you’re aiming to make the image of the perfect life happen without this alignment, it’s never going to feel the way you want it to… And this can lead to feeling like an outsider or an imposter in the life you’ve created for yourself.
Be true to yourself. Then learn to be even more true to yourself. That’s how you know who you are, why you’re alive, and what you’re capable of.
That’s confidence embodied. Layer upon layer of Self Actualisation.
No one can ever take that away from you.
Loved Natalie’s story? Click to hear from more of our Guest Experts!